To Walk a Day in One's Shoes

This week, my parent's divorce becomes official. Not a lot of people even know that my parents are getting divorced, (I don't really go around talking about it,) but I figure it's just a fact and it'll all come out anyway. I am not going to sit here and talk about how sad I am over it and how hard it is because it's not like that, and gaining anyone's sympathy is not what I'm here for. But I would like to get a few things off my chest about this topic.

I remember when I was younger and my parents were happy, (at least I didn't know any better than to think so,) and I didn't understand the situation of those of my friends who had divorced parents. I particularly remember at least three or four of my childhood friends whose parents were divorced, and when they would talk about it I distinctly remember thinking that it wasn't a big deal. I just thought you know get over it, just because your parents don't love each other doesn't mean they don't love you. There was no way I could possibly understand because I thought my parents had a great relationship, (I was also young and ignorant.) Anyway, now that I am having to endure my parent's divorce, my view has changed entirely. Though I still know that no matter what my parents go through in their relationship they still love their children unconditionally, I have come to find that that is not at all the point; I now know what my childhood friends were going through. When your parents divorce, it's like everything you've ever known gets taken away from you, or everything that you thought you knew. The foundation of your entire family is now nonexistent; it gets into your life and it destroys everything it touches.

Let me throw an example at you. Like I said before, when I was younger I had many friends that had separated parents. I remember my mom always asking me, "When you talk to your friends with divorced parents, don't you feel LUCKY that you're parents are still TOGETHER and HAPPY?" She had asked me this more than once, and she would ask me so intently, like the question was really important. It always confused me when she asked me this because the weight that she put behind the question didn't make sense to me. I didn't understand why she asked me or why it mattered or most importantly why she was being so serious about it. I would reply with some befuddled answer like, "Umm, sure, I mean I guess if I think about it." Because I didn't think about it, I just expected things to be fine because I was brought up to think that they were. I wasn't searching for some underlying meaning to her intense questioning. But now that I am older and I have been forced into the realization that not everything is as perfect as it looks from far away, it makes a lot more sense. My mother was unhappy for a long time, and she was only prodding at me to investigate how I felt about divorce; she just wanted to make sure that she was making the right decision in sticking it out with my dad. And now I am left with a sense of betrayal. Not so much betrayed by her, which I'm sure somewhere deep down I feel too, but rather betrayed by myself because I was too young and naive to see the signs of an unhappy marriage. Maybe I just didn't want to see it. I can honestly say that this experience has taken everything I ever thought that I knew about my family and my life and flipped it 100% upside-down. It was a shock to say the least.

Anyway, to get to the point, to those on the outside of divorce, to those who have not experienced it first-hand, it is hard to understand how exactly it affects a person. I, myself, used to be one of those people that thought that victims of divorce were just being whiny. I won't sit here and tell you that it's a big deal, because I still don't feel that it is; though I do think that it will affect people in ways that you may not comprehend until it happens to you. So maybe this is one of my life lessons (or perhaps even karma,) teaching me not to think that I know everything, and that I can't see where somebody stands until I walk a day in their shoes. And I think now, when it comes to this topic, I have.

Influencers!

JennaMarbles Blog and Video Blog - Jenna talks about anything and everything, just like me; her topics usually depends on current events in her life or just something random. Her audience is mostly female, but pretty much anyone who wastes time on youtube looking for laughs. Her Facebook and Twitter pages does a lot of advertising for her vlog, blog, and channel. Her strength is that she is absolutely hilarious and easy to listen to for hours on end. Her weaknesses are that many of her blogs and videos pertain only to females, and also that many of her videos are not appropriate for all ages. Also her posts can sometimes go on a tangent that no one really cares about.

The Everywherist - The Everywherist talks mainly about places that she travels and sometimes just about her majestical life. Her audience is pretty much anyone, especially people who are interested in traveling. (I just really like her writing style.) Her Twitter feed advertises for her blog and talks about the same events that her blog does. Her strength is that she is an amazing writer and she draws people in who may not even care specifically about her travels.

That Brave, Unbalanced Woman - Julianna talks also about random things. She sometimes posts amazing poetry or advice or even pictures. She is an incredibly talented writer. I assume her audience is mainly people that she knows or random people that stumble across her like myself because her blog isn't all that well-known. Her Twitter feed has almost nothing on it, and I couldn't tell you about her facebook. Her strength is that she is effortlessly talented and easy to read. Her weakness is that she isn't very prominent.