To Walk a Day in One's Shoes

This week, my parent's divorce becomes official. Not a lot of people even know that my parents are getting divorced, (I don't really go around talking about it,) but I figure it's just a fact and it'll all come out anyway. I am not going to sit here and talk about how sad I am over it and how hard it is because it's not like that, and gaining anyone's sympathy is not what I'm here for. But I would like to get a few things off my chest about this topic.

I remember when I was younger and my parents were happy, (at least I didn't know any better than to think so,) and I didn't understand the situation of those of my friends who had divorced parents. I particularly remember at least three or four of my childhood friends whose parents were divorced, and when they would talk about it I distinctly remember thinking that it wasn't a big deal. I just thought you know get over it, just because your parents don't love each other doesn't mean they don't love you. There was no way I could possibly understand because I thought my parents had a great relationship, (I was also young and ignorant.) Anyway, now that I am having to endure my parent's divorce, my view has changed entirely. Though I still know that no matter what my parents go through in their relationship they still love their children unconditionally, I have come to find that that is not at all the point; I now know what my childhood friends were going through. When your parents divorce, it's like everything you've ever known gets taken away from you, or everything that you thought you knew. The foundation of your entire family is now nonexistent; it gets into your life and it destroys everything it touches.

Let me throw an example at you. Like I said before, when I was younger I had many friends that had separated parents. I remember my mom always asking me, "When you talk to your friends with divorced parents, don't you feel LUCKY that you're parents are still TOGETHER and HAPPY?" She had asked me this more than once, and she would ask me so intently, like the question was really important. It always confused me when she asked me this because the weight that she put behind the question didn't make sense to me. I didn't understand why she asked me or why it mattered or most importantly why she was being so serious about it. I would reply with some befuddled answer like, "Umm, sure, I mean I guess if I think about it." Because I didn't think about it, I just expected things to be fine because I was brought up to think that they were. I wasn't searching for some underlying meaning to her intense questioning. But now that I am older and I have been forced into the realization that not everything is as perfect as it looks from far away, it makes a lot more sense. My mother was unhappy for a long time, and she was only prodding at me to investigate how I felt about divorce; she just wanted to make sure that she was making the right decision in sticking it out with my dad. And now I am left with a sense of betrayal. Not so much betrayed by her, which I'm sure somewhere deep down I feel too, but rather betrayed by myself because I was too young and naive to see the signs of an unhappy marriage. Maybe I just didn't want to see it. I can honestly say that this experience has taken everything I ever thought that I knew about my family and my life and flipped it 100% upside-down. It was a shock to say the least.

Anyway, to get to the point, to those on the outside of divorce, to those who have not experienced it first-hand, it is hard to understand how exactly it affects a person. I, myself, used to be one of those people that thought that victims of divorce were just being whiny. I won't sit here and tell you that it's a big deal, because I still don't feel that it is; though I do think that it will affect people in ways that you may not comprehend until it happens to you. So maybe this is one of my life lessons (or perhaps even karma,) teaching me not to think that I know everything, and that I can't see where somebody stands until I walk a day in their shoes. And I think now, when it comes to this topic, I have.

Influencers!

JennaMarbles Blog and Video Blog - Jenna talks about anything and everything, just like me; her topics usually depends on current events in her life or just something random. Her audience is mostly female, but pretty much anyone who wastes time on youtube looking for laughs. Her Facebook and Twitter pages does a lot of advertising for her vlog, blog, and channel. Her strength is that she is absolutely hilarious and easy to listen to for hours on end. Her weaknesses are that many of her blogs and videos pertain only to females, and also that many of her videos are not appropriate for all ages. Also her posts can sometimes go on a tangent that no one really cares about.

The Everywherist - The Everywherist talks mainly about places that she travels and sometimes just about her majestical life. Her audience is pretty much anyone, especially people who are interested in traveling. (I just really like her writing style.) Her Twitter feed advertises for her blog and talks about the same events that her blog does. Her strength is that she is an amazing writer and she draws people in who may not even care specifically about her travels.

That Brave, Unbalanced Woman - Julianna talks also about random things. She sometimes posts amazing poetry or advice or even pictures. She is an incredibly talented writer. I assume her audience is mainly people that she knows or random people that stumble across her like myself because her blog isn't all that well-known. Her Twitter feed has almost nothing on it, and I couldn't tell you about her facebook. Her strength is that she is effortlessly talented and easy to read. Her weakness is that she isn't very prominent.

How to Trick People into Thinking You're Good Looking

(Believe it or not, this is the only video by her that I could find that is half-way school appropriate.)

This video made me laugh so hard. Story of pretty much every girl's life. This girl is hilarious and I definitely suggest subscribing to her videos! She is so real and says it like it is. JennaMarbles.
If you like this, you'll love What Girls Do on the Internet and What Girls Do in the Car.

College Essays? Arghhhhh!

So last night I went hard all night long working on my college essays. I figured I have put it off long enough, and since I had nothing better going on I got to work. Here are the two essay questions that I was faced with:


-"The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?"


-"Tell us about your academic goals, circumstances that may have had an impact on your academic performance, and, in general, anything else you would like us to know in making an admission decision."


Needless to say, I was immediately stressed. The questions seem so vague and extremely hard to answer. For the first essay I struggled because to be honest I have no idea how I am going to enrich their community in the slightest. At least I didn't at first. Now even if you have some ideas on what makes you special as an individual and how you would be a benefit to their school, you face the second challenge of turning those ideas into an organized, 500-word essay, while simultaneously trying to steer away from sounding like you're bragging. This is what I did: I tried to find three things about myself that are positive and unique to my being. You also want to be able to back up these points with examples of things you have done or reasons why you are that way. This way, the things you are saying about yourself sound more like facts and less like bragging. You need to remember that in these essays you are trying to sell yourself, like in a job interview. Those three things about yourself that you choose to touch on will become your three paragraphs. Don't forget a thesis sentence for the beginning and end!


Now the second question is equally as hard but for different reasons. The first question gives you a little more structure as to what they want you to say. The second question is completely open to you to say whatever you feel is important. This question is mainly for those who may have struggled academically, and they are giving you the chance to perhaps explain why you struggled and how you have changed or matured that way. This is what I did: I broke down the first question into two separate academic goals of mine, then answered the second question on things that affected my academic performance. These became my three paragraphs. This one may be quite a bit different for you depending on what you want to say, but the general idea is the same. Remember to sell yourself and turn negatives to positives!

I hope this helps those of you that are beginning to work on your college essays! Personally, it took me about an hour to finish both of mine, and both turned out to be over 500 words each. Try not to stress out over it, just get started and once you get going the rest comes much easier. Also remember to revise, revise, revise! Make it perfect. Good luck!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Sometimes you have so much going on, it's hard to catch a breath. A big part of you just wants to lay in bed and do nothing at all because you don't even know where to begin. This is how I am feeling today. But as much as I would love to crawl into a dark hole and hide away from all of my responsibilities, I can't. Therefore, I am going to make a list because that is what I do when I am stressed out. It's strangely very relieving to just get out on paper all of the things that need to get done and prioritize them according to time restrictions and level of importance. This way, I have a better idea of where to start and what to do afterwards. I am going to restrain myself from posting said list because I highly doubt my schedule is that important to any of you, so I am going to excuse myself from this post to go begin said list-making. And perhaps if you are feeling a bit stressed out as well, you can make a list of your own. I promise it helps. Good luck. (:

Metamorphosis

Last night, I was laying awake in bed thinking about my future and it sounds cliche, but I had somewhat of an epiphany. I came to the realization that in no time at all, I will be an "adult," on my own, and that I will rarely see or even speak to some of the people that are currently close to me. All your life, you look forward to turning eighteen, graduating, and moving out. And before you know it, the time comes and somehow you still don't feel ready for it. Yesterday at school we received our graduation tassels and ordered our caps and gowns, and it felt like a dream. I still don't think it's hit me fully and I don't know when it will, but it's starting to sink in and it's a strange feeling. Everyone says your last year of high school flies by so enjoy it while it lasts, and I think I'm already starting to see what they mean. As I've said before, us seniors have so much to think about, it's really helping the time just fly by. We are already one-fourth of the way done with this school year but I feel like the first day was just a short while ago. At this pace it will only be a matter of moments before my eighteenth birthday; before I'm accepting my high school diploma; before I'm packing boxes of all of my belongings and moving out of my childhood home; before I'm getting lost in a big city that I don't know my way around yet; before I'm making new friends and wondering what the heck happened to my old ones; before I'm paying bills; before I'm wishing I could go back to living with my mommy and daddy. And I know that I will look back and wish that I hadn't taken it for granted, I'll wish that I had appreciated every bit of simplicity. I realized all of this, and in grasping this bit of insight I have found myself to be scared to death over it. It's going to be scary for everyone, but I don't think everyone is as freaked out as I am yet; I am known to be one who stresses unnecessarily. But I'd say perhaps I'm a bit ahead of the game at this point, because still many of my peers haven't even thought about their futures while I am mentally preparing myself far ahead of time for everything that I am going to go through within the next year. So maybe this is all a very good thing.

At the same time, while I am recognizing how much is going to change for me very soon, I also am becoming aware that a lot of things aren't going to change at all. For example, having looked forward to turning eighteen my entire life now feels foolish. Now that my birthday is only months away, it feels just like every other birthday I've ever had. I see that on that "special" day when I become a so-called adult, nothing is going to change for me. I won't be buying my own cigarettes because I am not and never will be a smoker (fact), I'm not really one for gambling or the lottery (never really saw the benefit of such), and I don't really intend on going into any military forces (to my fathers dismay). So eighteen is really just another number that will ultimately get me no closer to where I am going to end up either way. Eighteen isn't a magical number that is going to change everything and somehow automatically transform you into your mature, adult self. This small epiphany also brings me some apprehension because the fact that I realize this is just further proof of my logical thinking and maturation.

So I guess the moral of the story is this: it isn't turning eighteen or graduating or even moving out that makes you an adult; what makes you an adult is having the sense enough to know that none of these things are going to be the life-altering things that they are lived up to be, and being ready for the real world and whatever your life is going to have in store for you in the long run.

Better.

Sometimes you just wake up and feel better. The past few days have left me feeling restored. And I wouldn't have guessed it because to be honest not much has changed; I still have far too much on my plate and things are still hard. But I think I am learning to appreciate the small blessings I have in life and to focus less on the negative. All I really need to know for now is that I am on the right path, even if that path is feeling a bit cluttered at the moment. To further this feeling of triumph, I am watching myself grow into a mature little adult person. I have become so independent, mostly because I haven't had much of a choice in the matter, but there isn't a greater feeling than being able to rely completely on yourself as a person. Life throws these lessons at you, sometimes in the most untimely of manners, but it's learning how to dig yourself out of a giant rut that really allows you to value your own growing strength. You learn through experience that things do get better, but they only get better through bettering yourself. And who doesn't like being all-around BETTER. I sure do. I hope this freeing feeling lasts.

"To conquer oneself is the best and noblest victory; to be vanquished by one's own nature in the worst and most ignoble defeat." -Plato

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." -Chinese Proverb

"We acquire the strength we have overcome." -Ralph Waldo Emerson